Category: Blog

Good morning Cooking In Minders.

I need this white screen at the moment. Truth be told, I’m haven’t been doing so well lately. I year that has tested my mental health and taken me back to the dark times I’m afraid. I feeling of shame, disappointment with myself and a feeling that I’ve become a fraud. I talk about all the things to make things better. I’ve lightened my load in the kitchen, a teaching yoga and yet somehow I’m spending days in the same mental space of anxiety and depression that I did 6 years ago.

However, I’ve found the courage to ask for help, found the courage to speak to the people around me and I will beat this. My days are not numbered in the way I’ve been speaking of.

I took time completely from writing here because how could I talk about helping people when I needed the help myself. Then, I remembered that’s the whole point. Opening up, having conversations and learning more about my own mental health. The ratio of good to bad days has got too high, but that will change.

I will listen to my doctors
I will run
I will move
I will fight
I will lean into the fear
I will talk

And that’s what will have me fighting fit again.

If you feel this way at the moment please trust me that it is worth the fight. It’s always worth the fight and there is always someone in your corner.

CiMx

How are we all doing?

As the seasons begin to change its time for a check in. This is one of those times where its good to take some time to check in how things are in how i’m feeling. The summer is a time of fire (pitta in the the yoga world) where its difficult to slow down, to ground enough to see what is happening. That’s ok for me as long as i check in now.

The summer has been a time of change. I have been finishing my horse box conversion, that’s right im going it alone! Which is exciting and scary all at the same time. Its been ups and downs, its been frustrating and at times I’ve not handled it at all well. Anxiety has become a huge part of my life again. Can I overcome it, oh hell yeah.

Understanding that not being able to do something is OK has been my biggest takeaway. Running a kitchen is a very different skill set to that of running a business. I’ve had to accept that I lack a lot of the skills I need. Its hit my self confidence. I’m coming through this now, understanding that that is OK. I can learn. Like I learnt to do a lot of things in the kitchen.

The positive is always that by not knowing how to do something you learn something new once you master it. At the time I really seem to struggle not knowing. A fear of failure I’m sure as chefs you all know?

Sitting down here to talk about this and to think about how this time has effected me has been therapeutic in itself. I love doing this and I thank anyone who has read this from the bottom of my heart but to be honest its not important how many of you read this. I do hope my thoughts might trigger your thoughts. Thats the point of flying this into the internet word.

Have a great day.

Good morning kind readers.

I’ve been making a few changes to how Cooking In Mind looks. I started in black and white, I loved that vibe but two years on I think a bit of colour is needed. A bright yellow felt right.

Its been a strange time for us all and that includes Cooking In Mind. My vision is the ‘blackboard’ which is the space for chefs to hand over their ideas to tips to the next chef. It is still is but has proved very hard. If you are one of the wonderful chefs who Ive spoken to I thank you from the bottom of my heart but why is the blackboard not full? Why haven’t we got that over the line?

This process has shown me how hard this really is.

Is it hard to put your thoughts into words?

Do you trust me and CookingInMind?

Is there still stigma concerns?

Are you simply to busy?

I’m writing this morning to ask you? Have you considered getting in touch with me but it hasn’t quite happened? What can I do to help you share what makes the kitchen work for you?

If you have ever thought of getting in touch with me perhaps this is the time, the time to pass on your wisdom, give something back to your chefs and make yourself feel wonderful…

Handle with care.

The fog is clearing.

Here we are, ready to work hard and do great things.

Its mental health awareness week 2021 and its such a fascinating time to work in hospitality. The world can not wait to get back out and connect with their chefs and as chefs we are ready to go.

I wanted to use this time to talk about self worth. It’s a battle that so much people have.

What do you think you are worth? I’m here right now to tell you that you are worth so much. You are worth all the skills and accomplishments that you have ‘banked’, a great term I heard only today. You are worth what your gut and your heart is telling you that can do.

Your self worth is also your values. Have faith in those core values and you will know your worth.

And one last thing. Dont feel your pressure to push past your self worth. It will hurt.

The pandemic has been a big test to my concept of self worth. I’ve not run a kitchen now for over a year, it’s given me a chance to evaluate my self worth and what I feel I have to give and to share.

It’s in my gut and I’m listening,

As ever, please do get in touch and chat with me if you have thoughts, perhaps you can take this further and continue the conversation 🧘‍♂️

Brian of the national chefs union asked me to talk about the ongoing risk of depression in the kitchen.

I drafted articles about the state of the industry and how it compares to what I wrote about mental health in the kitchen in 2017 but then realised that what was going on in my own head was very different. The uncertainty of the future. It made me wonder if this is what is going through anyone else’s mind?

There is a real uncertainly in our future and that’s what I want to talk about. How do we manage that in term of our mental health?

In the present we can only be our best selves right?. That’s forever the case. Once we learn our limitations then we take control of a situation. Do everything we can to take control of what is in our control. The rest will just happen. Be open with our employers. Do our best.

I understand that.

But the future is something none of us can foresee. The future has always been something that causes me huge amounts of anxiety. Not nesseraliy worrying about what is coming because I know I can’t control that, but worrying about what I should be doing today to give myself the best chance in the future. Does anybody else suffer this anxiety? It can cause me to freeze. Panic. Have all these pages and pages of to-do lists all of which could be affecting the path I’m on and my chances of future happiness!

I feel like some days I am on top of this anxiety. I can do one thing on my to-do list that will take me towards my goals and is true to me. But it only works to an extent.

How does anybody else deal with this anxiety? Who doesn’t suffer this anxiety and how and why don’t you?

What the hell does that mean?

How do I wrote this inclusively of all? I’m not sure I can. I’m writing it as me. An approaching Middle Aged man who has been a chef and now a yoga teacher. I’ve never been overly physically strong, I’ve suffered mental health issues and I’ve run a marathon and I love a nice hot bubble bath.

Am I manly? Am a masculine?

I’ve had days when be felt really unmanly, girly, feminine, to then voice that to someone and hear them respond with “but I see you as very manly”, not “it’s ok to not be manly you know” which was what I expected.

Why does it even matter?

Well it shouldn’t but it does seem to be a bother to me. If you tell yourself something doesn’t matter but clearly it is bothering you it can only make things worse. Of course

So clearly it does matter to me.

Was I brought up in a time where being tough and being strong is very important. Sure. I’ve felt weak at various points of my life so it’s only natural that it would effect me.

Being aware of the thought process calms me down massively. At times that connection is what I need to take control of it and work my head around it.

Where does this fit into the well-being of chefs?

Well it’s simple, theres a huge amount of pressure of chefs to be strong. Even today in a kitchen I would find it almost impossible to express any weakness.

The pressure that puts on you Isn’t healthy. It simply can’t be.

During our new covid normal I’m reading more and more stories of chefs having to to work harder, longer and under more pressure.

It’s a pressure cooker in the mind.

Is standing up to not being ok manly or not?

Being manly is having the strength to talk about how things aren’t ok. That you don’t feel ok.

I’m sure of it. Just about. I still need to tell myself sometimes.

Stay safe everyone

Steve.

When I say your voice I mean a lot more than the words you say.

Your voice is your connection to your true self. A term I really like. That state where you are being true to yourself at its core and you are not being directed by external stresses.

Yoga philosophy sees our voice being effected by the 5th chakra. The throat chakra, the Vishuddha. A blue energy. We are looking to have each chakra in balance.

In particular to us chefs I am interested in how this means we communicate.

Balancing your voice

Deficient- timid, not sticking up for yourself, leads to be being walked all over in the kitchen. Being blamed for things you haven’t done, working too many hours as you don’t say no!

In excess- self important, arrogant, not prepared to listen to the ideas and feelings of others in the kitchen.

A great chef is a chef that has managed to balance this energy.

Which one are you? Can you see a lack of balance in yourself?

Your personality and body composition will of course emphasize this. Too much fire in your system will likely put you into excess whilst too much water will likely make your voice deficient.

This is yoga philosophy at it’s best. Helping you to understand what you could be doing to feel more in balance and therefore more calm.

How what we eat could help?

In excess, try cooling foods such as coconut or deficient then try a bit of chilli or garlic to stoke your inner fire.

In general ripe fruits are known to help balance the energy in your throat chakra. They symbolize authenticity as they only fall from the tree at the right time. Also anything blue to nourish the energy. Purple Sprouting broccoli or blueberries perhaps.

The movement or Yoga Asana and how this can help.

Balance is the key here.

Deficiency of your voice can be helped along by opening the chest, shoulders and throat.

Asana’s such as fish, ideally supported fish, or melting heart.

In excess means you need to try to close down that area. Forward folds of almost any kind will be beneficial. Shoulderstand as well, this asana has the added benefit of the calming and cooling effect of the inversion.

Balance as ever is the key, doing a combination of both is often the key. It’s not easy to start getting the benefits this way from yoga asana, it takes time and practice but it really is worth sticking with.

If you have any questions or would like some guidance I would love to hear from you,

There are always other activities you can do to help balance your voice. Activities that stoke your inner fire will also help. Sport for example? To calm your voice you could do something as simple as take 5 deep breaths when you feel yourself at melting point.

If you’re interested, get in touch 🙂

You know yourself, trust it. That’s so important to remember.

Namaste