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Cooking when overwhelmed

Here’s a bit of an unprompted, unplanned post mostly happening as I need to get all this anxiety out.

This week I have the feeling of anxiety of old. The feeling of not knowing what multitude of things I need to think about (worry about in my case). But yesterday I realised it is not a feeling of dred as in the past. Its simply a feeling of being overwhelmed.

I have made some big life changing decisions in the past few months. Ones that could have massive consequences, for the good I am sure deep down. However, an anxious mind will always make this more difficult. If there is a negative, a risk, the anxious mind will cling to it like a moth to a flame. It will scrap the rational thinking that was done when making the decision and replace it with imminent nuclear war.

But what can I do here. Well first I listen to what it is saying to check there is no very sensible message. Once I realise that nothing has changed, I ask it to leave and take action.

This action dear readers is my trip to India. A trip to study Yoga & meditation. To Study how this could benefit me as a chef.

On a day of feeling overwhelmed the kitchen is a wonderful place. It gives me focus. This positive focus is my focus for the day.

So if you feel overwhelmed leading onto anxiety I suggest this. Take an action towards taking away the worry and simplifying what is in your head. It might not have an effect. Then head into the kitchen. Whether thats like me, into the Ballyvolane House kitchen to cook dinner or into your own kitchen to cook. Afterwards, come back to what you are overwhelmed by and see if its changed…

Ill report back tomorrow!

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Suicide in the Kitchen

On #worldsuicidepreventionday I want to talk about the mental health risks in our kitchens from a different angle.

At Cooking In Mind I want to talk about the problem from the bottom up. There are wonderful charities out there to help people who are really at risk from suicide, drug abuse or other serious mental health issues. What makes me passionate is to think about how we can prevent people feeling like this in the first place.

Lets look at the causes rather than the symptoms.

The pressures of working as a chef or in the hospitality industry is enough to make people feel suicidal. I’m interested in what we can do to look at the causes. What can we be doing to loosen that grip, to keep people safe and enable our hospitality workers to live balanced lives.

By doing this we could prevent one chef from reaching that point of danger. Just one and I’m happy.

To do this…

We all need to take responsibly for others. Primarily we need to be aware of how we manage the people below us. Are they ok? Am I asking too much? Are they coping? By taking this all the way to the top we change the way we manage and over the years those commis chefs who become head chefs take that good style of management with them.

We all need to take responsibility for ourselves. How do we live our lives to give ourselves the best chance? Do we live a good work/life balance? Do we get outside? Do we get some exercise? Do we fuel our bodies well?

Lets start this journey. Lets shake it up for the hospitality workers of the future. Lets bring down the chef suicide rate one kind word at a time, one responsibly management service at a time, one run at a time, one hug from a loved one at a time.

Keep safe everyone.

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Run : Talk : Cook

I’ve found myself sat in a cafe writing about how running is so bloody great. I could not be happier.

The big difference this time is that I’m writing after having not run for about a month. I’ve had a tough summer of work and found that adding running into the equation was just too much. Fortunately I have Yoga though but that’s for another post.

For those of you who know me you’ll know I like to run a lot. I ran the Brighton marathon and raised money for CALM last summer which is one of my fondest memories and greatest achievements.

During my darkest of days around 3 years ago it was running that offered me the most. It offered me focus and something to be positive about.

The feeling of calm and of freedom from running is a wonderful thing and one I would recommend to anyone who can be prone to worry or anxiety. When you run things become clearer and in perspective. If you have a problem or a big decision to make I assure you it will seem a little lighter during and after a run.

Today I’m thinking a lot about whether or not running regularly is a good idea for an overworked stressed out chef?

I’ve been torn. Was I right to decide to not run this summer through the most stressful of my career?

During the busy times I think you have to be very careful to look after yourself physically. Any form of over exercise could be really dangerous, great for the mind but physically worrying.

So, balance is the key I think. I would have still benefited from a couple of low intensity runs but as I said before I replaced this with an ever developing yoga practice which enabled me to get the benefits but without spending more time on my feet. Balance I think.

I miss running though. A lot. My brother is taking on a half marathon in the coming months and I couldn’t be prouder but also couldn’t be more jealous.

My point to the cheffing world is that running is a wonderful thing to be doing. It makes an almost immediate difference to the stress and anxiety you feel from the kitchen. But what you do need to do is be careful. If you have worked a 12 hour day on your feet and feel physically exhausted then a high intensity run probably isn’t a great idea.

For me it also leads on to thinking about that good old work life balance. If you cant find the energy to run then perhaps that balance is a bit off? Below is a link to my discussion about this going into a bit more detail.

Is this the right job for you?

There is a lot more to be said about running and it will be in the upcoming months. I’ll report back how much I am loving it to be back on the stomp.

x

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Thinking like a team worker.

In simple terms there is no way that as a chef you can achieve everything you want to on your own. As an individual you will always achieve more as part of a team than on your own.

On a practical level this could mean simply that each member of the team can focus on what they are good at. Different chefs have different strengths and weaknesses so managing this will always work out best for the team.

I’ve always known that but I wanted to dig a little deeper. When I’m working as part of a team I feel stronger, like I can achieve more. I wanted to look at why.

I started by thinking about how I have felt working alone. Even though the workload suits working alone I have never felt as productive. Going into it I felt it would be the opposite, that I would be so productive as I didn’t have to put time into managing anyone.

So, I knew there had to be more to it.

Kitchens are very tough places. Even at the best of times there is a pressure to be perfect, to not make any mistakes and to achieve a specific goal. Sharing this strain can really make it feel more manageable.

When I’ve been alone in the kitchen and something goes wrong I have found it far more challenging than when with a team of chefs. You can get brought down by a mistake or stress and then not be able to pull yourself out of it. That feeling of stress can stay with me and become anxiety.

During any day there will be times when the stress gets to a specific member of the team. Its more than possible that at this time other chefs could be on the high of the wave. There to help the one struggling. A couple of hours later the favour can be re-payed.

That to me is the fundamental reason why being part of a team will always be important.

Suddenly the importance of building a strong team in the kitchen takes a new level of importance.

So find your place or build your team and don’t take it for granted.

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Simplify

I’ve only realised over the past few days that for the last month or two my brain has been racing at about a million miles an hour with ideas, plans and ways to change the world for me and for others. The realisation I have had though is that I haven’t been able to put any detail to any of those thoughts because there are simply too many.

My brain then tries to tell me that Ive failed. The spiral needs to stop.

But how?

A very good friend of mine Dan Keeley from AREWEOKUK got me thinking about this last week.

Firstly, take a breathe. Take a breathe and think about how far you have come.

Secondly, Simply Simplify Simplify

When you feel inspired it is very easy to end up with a huge list of ideas, to-dos or plans. They could be 1 week, 1 month or 1 year plans. You can tell yourself that you have a good plan but its so easy to get lost in it, like i did.

Think about what is important to you right now.

As a chef it could be:

  • Learn a new skill
  • Get a promotion
  • Find a new job
  • Spend more time with your family
  • Take up running

Think about what is most important to you and work on it with all your focus. Of course don’t forget about the other things that are important to you but don’t try to make too many changes all at once. Simple

As ever, fancy a chat?, hit the contact me button.

Until next time

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Focus Focus Focus

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about how we cope in the kitchen when things aren’t going to plan for us. This could either be in reality or in our own worlds and thoughts. How you help your way through it could well be the same either way.

Whether you’re running a kitchen or a station your day can get very overwhelming with a multitude of different elements to think about. This will become even more extreme when things aren’t going well. To get something straight here, there is no shame in things not going well. It will happen, the sooner you face it the better.

If you try to change everything at once then it will only make things worse. You’ll overwhelm yourself even further and wont solve anything.

So, how do we get things back on track?

We focus. We focus on little things which we can do to make things seem better.

We prioritize the problems and pick the one on the top.

How does it help?

Well, by focusing on one area you have a real chance of fixing it and quickly. The visual changes will make you feel more confident and could well take the heat off if you’re in trouble with your boss!

To make this work right now

If you’re having a hard time at the moment this is what you do. At the end of your day sit yourself down and really go through what it is that isnt working out for you. Then, prioritize them.

Then think of one small achievable thing you can do tomorrow to work towards fixing the problem on the top.

How will this make you feel

Firstly, you should feel great because you’ve taken a huge step in facing the problems. Be proud of that. A lot of chefs simply wont care to fix anything

Feel confident as you know its going to make a difference

Feel safer as your boss will come off your back once they see you’re being proactive

You got this chef x




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A cuppa at the start, a jar at the end

A big part of cooking in mind is helping chefs to manage their kitchens better so that everyone in their team feels their best.

As a head chef I have worked very hard to develop ideas and routines that will give my chefs a chance to be their best.

In this, my first management tip I want to start with a lovely basic routine which every kitchen in the land could implement straight away. I think most kitchens do this in some form or another but it is important to understand why you are doing it so that you can get the most from it.

Start every day with a morning cup of coffee with your chefs. It is important to separate this from a briefing or formal meeting. It should simply be getting the team together for a slow mindful start to the day. A discussion about what everyone will be doing and what it would be great to achieve. Remember, keep it casual. Any formal briefing can wait.

Why?

  • It sets the standard for a calm mind and kitchen.
  • Encourages focus for everyone without pressure or stress
  • It builds the team. People getting on as people rather than as chefs

End the day with a pint (or just a chat during the clean down)

This routine can be a little more difficult as people might want to get out as soon as possible but it is vital as a technique to promote good mental health. Again, it should be casual, not a de-brief, do that first if needed. It could be during the clean down if everyone needs to get going at the end of a shift. Done at its best, its a wind down for everyone. A chat about how the day went, to go through the day and put it into the past. A day in a kitchen could be tough but its vital to discuss what went right and what went wrong with no pressure or stress.

Why?

  • One of the most dangerous habits for a chef is to take home a mistake they made. It could spiral into anxiety and could be hugely detrimental for mental health. By casually chatting about any mistake at the end of a shift it is a chance to put it into perspective so that the chef can let it go and come in fresh the next day.
  • Sets up for a relaxed night. Sleep could be better and the next day is already looking better!
  • Helps develop the team by talking as people, not as chefs

So lets try this in all our kitchens and be mindful of why we are doing it and what we are getting from it.

Until next time.

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Spotting the signs you are working with anxiety or depression

It really is possible to work through some of the most dangerous and unpleasant feelings and emotions. As chefs we seem to be programed that this is somehow strong and all part of the journey as a chef.

What a load of ********

Its about pushing ourselves to the pinnacle of what we can achieve, its actually very different. Anxiety in the kitchen can only lead onto bad things. Whether that is drinking, depression or anger you most definitely wont be your best self and not the person you deserve to be.

The signs

  • Quick breathing.
  • Twitchy, uneasy, quick to become anxious or irritable.
  • Not eating or drinking water.
  • Paranoia. Am I doing OK? Am I in trouble? Is the food terrible?
  • Shoulder or neck pain.
  • More tired than you feel you should be – caused by excess worry.

Remember, anxiety is there for a reason. Its what our bodies do to tell us there is a problem. Avoiding it won’t help.

What could the anxiety be telling you?

  • You are being too critical on yourself or putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed or be perfect.
  • You’re being put under too much pressure with workload and/or expectations.
  • You’re doing a role that is above what your experience is capable of (its happening more during this current chef shortage).
  • You don’t have the needed support from above or below.
  • You are in a hostile or bullying environment.

So you’re starting to understand how you feel and why.

What can you do?

  • Learn to understand the message. Learn to make life and career decisions from these magical messages. Even if at the time you don’t like what the message is saying.
  • Talk. Talk to whoever will be there for you. Friends and family
  • If the kitchen has the right dynamics, talk to your boss. I hope this is an option. Its often the most beneficial
  • Try to break the problems down. Little blocks are easier to fix. Just like mis en place.
  • Lastly, if you’re in a hostile or bullying environment, get out. Get out now and deal with it from outside the situation. There is ALWAYS another option.

These are the solutions for when you feel in control. I have been at the point where it doesn’t feel like you’re in control anymore. You may feel like your feelings are out of control and there is nothing you can do.

If you feel like this there is help out there. See the help tabs on the top of our site. There is help out there. Fancy some advice, send us a message on the contact us tab.

Be safe everyone

Steve x


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Summer Season is here.

This week I want to talk about how we can cope when it gets difficult in the Kitchen. The answers are very different for everybody so I’m hoping to break it down in a way that relates to everyone and can be applied to you all.

As ever, it is so important that you tell me what you think guys. Do you agree with what I’m saying? Do you your own ideas to add?

For me the summer season really starts now and its more important than ever to make time to look after ourselves. The reality is that we are now going to be working long days in very difficult conditions. What can we do to look after ourselves so that we can thrive rather than sink in the pressure?

At Cooking In Mind we have broken it down into three topics. They are simple and potentially obvious, but how many of us don’t work on the simple things?

DIET

This is thinking about what we put into our bodies. What we eat and drink will fuel us and will make up the cells in our bodies that then in turn will dictate our moods and emotions.

The reality is that if we are working a 10 or 12 hour shift that we are not going to able to eat a structured three meals at regular times with all the food groups we need. Its time to face that.

Firstly, water water water water water. It really is the most important thing you need in the kitchen. If you cant do anything else, make sure you are drinking at least 2l of water a day. Give you mind and body a chance.

My way to look at it is to ensure that one meal a day is nutritious. In your day, make sure you have one good meal set in stone. The time you’ll have it and what it is. Then do your best with eating for the rest of your day.

Cooking In Mind will be introducing a staff food project in time. Watch this space. We should be providing that important meal for our chefs.

EXERCISE

This is quite the conversation for chefs. We may cover up to 10km a shift on our feet in one shift. Isn’t that enough? Well yes, it is but it isn’t exercise that will help our minds. What it means is that you want to think carefully about what exercise will suit you best.

A simple walk in the fresh air on our brakes will help our minds more than you know. Studies have been carried out all over the world and have shown that an hour a day in nature is as effective as taking anti-depressant meditation at increasing mood.

For us, we will always suggest running. It builds strength and energy levels which will help you with being on your feet all day. Of course it needs some thought and might not be the best option if you will be covering a lot of distance on your feet. Be careful not to overdo it. And be very sure to up your water and food intake when you are running or exhaustion could be a real problem

I believe yoga could be the future answer for chefs. It offers us everything we need whilst taking the pressure off our bodies. It can build strength in both body and mind.

OUR THOUGHTS

Other than what we consume and how we look after our bodies, at times there isn’t much else we can control about our day.

Stoicism teaches us that we should only worry about the things we have control over. Obvious right?

We don’t have control over what happens in the kitchen. We don’t have any control over how people will treat us. But we do have control over how we react to them. We can control whether sometimes makes us feel anxious or scared. It might not seem it sometimes but we do.

How do I take control of this?

Well we are huge believers in meditation. Apps like Headspace have made meditation available for all. I can confirm that by learning to take control over your thoughts for 30 minute periods daily, you can carry this on when times get difficult in work. It is the simple process of focusing on your breath and redirecting your thoughts to it whenever they wander. When I first tried this I could last around 40 seconds before getting too frustrated and having to stop. After a few weeks however, I was managing 15 minutes. I am starting to see a real difference in how I process problems. Slower, calmer.

As ever, if you have read this far I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

x


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Is this the right job for you?

As part of cooking in mind I think its important to be asking difficult questions. Questions that could cause division and conflict to begin with. I have a huge fear of confrontation, I always have so this question has always been a difficult one for me. I have always asked it.

Asking this to yourself is important in all professions but as a chef I think it is particularly important. A chef role can take over your life.

Being in the right job can be magnificent for your mental health. You can feel energised and motivated a good proportion of the time.

Being in the wrong job can be very dangerous for your mental health.
Am I in the right job for me? now?

To guide you I’ve made some points below. Some things to think about when trying to answer the question

Don’t base this decision on whether it is ‘hard’.

When you are doing meaningful work then hard work is empowering and rewarding. Work is the wrong kind of hard when you don’t feel engaged in what you are doing.

Do you feel you thriving on the pressure of what you are doing?

When times get hard perhaps during a busy service do you feel a rush of adrenaline? When this happens you can actually feel a high. On the other hand, do you feel heaviness in your stomach or a tight chest. These are warning signs that you need to listen to. What is your body telling you?

It is a dangerous environment for your mental health, but is it leading you to where you want to be? Can you focus on the end to get you through the now? Can you side step safely?

This is a huge question. A complicated question. Long term goals can help you when things get very tough. However, you need to learn where your line is. In simple terms life is short and you should never put yourself through too much for any long term idea. Never push too hard however, you could endure a tough year if you can see the light at the end as a powerful motivator and focus point rather than the present struggle.

Does the business match your values?

These values could be linked to your long term goals. Are you vegan and working in a steak restaurant? Do you agree with the way your owners run the business from an ethical pint of view? This can effect your engagement to your role and how much you can give.

Does the business want what is best for you?

Are they nurturing you? Are they working towards you being your best self? Or are they simply bleeding what they can from you? This could be through regular progress meetings or simply getting regular feedback as to how things are going. Do they discuss long term goals for your progression. Some businesses do this very well and others simply see you as another face.

Are you being developed? Are you learning?

You will never know everything. you should always feel you are learning.

Does the kitchen have a mental health policy?

Right now this is unlikely but it is a question we should all be asking. For now, perhaps think about what would happen if you went to a manger and explained you weren’t coping very well. Would they be supportive? Would there be mental health sick days?

If you felt anxiety within your job, could you speak to anyone?

Leading on from the last question really, do you have a good relationship with your managers. Could you talk to people about your concerns and / or anxieties.

Having long term goals are important. Is the job directing you towards them?

Think big. You only have one life. Don’t waste it. Knowing where you want to be will make you happy in the present when working towards that point.

I’m looking for chefs to join me in a focus group to discuss how we can have all chefs in the right roles. If you are interested please get in touch through social media or the contact me page. Id like to discuss these issues from the side of chefs and from owners.

Until next time x